Crushed...

Sometimes all we can do is all we can do

This picture sums up how I've sort of been feeling the last couple of weeks. My swimming is practically nonexistent because of the sense of having to start from scratch after the bike wreck. Actually, I had sort of made peace with that by deciding to do some duathlons this year.

No what has me sort of upset is my cycling. Some things are just plain hard to take. And they can be even harder to explain. But for the sake of the blog I'll try. Last week I went out to the time trial and got completely obliterated. Not by other riders mind you. I sort of expect that at this juncture. I realize I have a 5 year fitness deficit to make up for. No what is bugging me is that 2/3 of the way through an 8 mile time trial I completely cracked. Tank empty. Game over. Completely spent. Then I caught a calf cramp and had to limp my way to the finish.

There were probably some things that were beyond, or seemingly beyond, my control like the cold front and the 40mph winds that kicked up just after I rolled across the starting mat. Winds that got worse as I rode to the turnaround. And maybe if it weren't so freaking windy, I'd have made it to the finish? I don't know. But it was that sense of my body saying "Enough!" That's what did it.

The next day I got about 2/3 of the way through my yoga class and couldn't finish that either. I got nauseous. I had to lay in corpse pose while everyone else got to do inversions. I love inversions. The yoga teacher theorized that perhaps I was still processing physical and emotional trauma from the bike accident. Perhaps?

Then the next day a planned 30 minute treadmill workout got cut to 15 minutes and I went home.

I got in some time on the bike at moderate intensity over the weekend without feeling too wiped out so Monday, I thought I'd get a baseline on the bike to set my training intensity for the month. What happened? I got crushed again! I made it about 2/3 through the workout when my heart rate monitor readings got jacked up. I still had a final max effort interval left. But I would be lying if I said I could have done it. I was already toast. The equipment malfunction was just foreshadowing. I had been crushed by yet another workout and left searching for answers.

But the reason I decided to do the bike test was to find out what happened on the time trial the week before. And even though I didn't finish the test, I already had enough information to get my answer. My cycling is weak. There I said it.

I know it isn't an general endurance/fitness issue because today I did a run test and my running is actually greatly improved. I did a 2.5 mile time trial in just over 16:05 on a hilly marked course in my neighborhood. This is down from 20:30 on the same course at the beginning of January this year. No, the problem is my cycling is just plain weak. Now I have to figure out what to do about it. I have some ideas. I think I'll write about those tomorrow. Right now I just want to go to bed...